A Stuffed Toy She Likes

I adopted Margaret Cat a decade ago at the local we-kill-them-in-ten-days "shelter". The staff explained that she was traumatized by an abusive first home and she had just had her kittens taken from her. Over the years I gave Margaret the usual cat toys, and very few interested her, none delighted her. This Christmas I bought her a stuffed toy as usual, but since it seemed destined for donation to the thrift shop when she rejected it, I bought it from a thrift store. To my surprise this gray wolf cub stuffed toy made a normal cat out of Margaret. She bites it, she kicks it vigorously with her hind legs, and as you can see, when she gets tired she rests next to it. Yes! I am fortunate t

I Missed My Space Flight

According to the evening news online I may have just missed out on a flight in space! Quel Domage. The cliché is true, life is too short. If I only lived half a century longer, space flights might be routine and I could have, would have booked a flight to the moon. Awww. A daring girlfriend and I made a pact in graduate school, that if space travel opened up in our lifetimes, we would vacation together on the moon. We would sit back and earthgaze. We would drink the latest drinks and dance the latest dances on the moon. From the ads juxtaposition next to Richard Branson's space travel announcement, drinks might be passé, instead tokes might be on the menu, but all I would want would b

Three Hard-Won Helicopter Rides

When it was time for me to move from San Diego, California, I said goodbye with a helicopter tour. I really enjoyed the panoramic views and the mechanical swings of the helicopter, as it circled high in the sky over that lovely city and harbor. My philosophy flying has always been that it is such a profound, exhilarating experience that it would be worth dying for, just not today. I am satisfied with what I have done with my life, and I am ready to meet my maker at any moment, or hopefully after a long life well-lived. So I recognize the risk of flying but I value the experience. I have taken only three helicopter tours in my life, over San Diego, over a volcano in Hawaii, and an attenua

Not So Easy To Be Brave When The Threat Is Real

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, during a yoga retreat I stayed overnight in a small, wooden cabin located in the pines on a very steep slope up the White Mountain of southern California. There are black bears in those woods, weighing up to 600 pounds, and we had been admonished to "watch out" for them. I felt that warning was insufficient so after my day of yoga classes, when other yoga practitioners took an evening stroll to meditate in the woods, I went directly to my cabin and did not emerge from it until time for the next day of classes in the morning. Ah, but naturally the bear came to me! Late in the evening, as I sat digitally processing the photographs that I had taken for th

I Was Happy To Be A Lesser Yoga Practitioner

I had the good fortune to take yoga from world-class instructors who owned a posh little yoga studio in San Diego, California. I would hurry there after work, eager to join the other students, many of whom were years into their yoga practice and all of whom were remarkable to watch as they moved through the various postures. Human beings are quite beautiful when they are moving as a concerted herd with quiet, precise, muscular intent. I was well into my fifties, I do not have a yogi's body, but I was patient, strong, flexible, and fluid in motion, so I managed well enough. I consider myself to be a lesser yoga practitioner and I am content in that. I was delighted to "discover" yoga and

Persistent Pain Behind My Right Eye

I am in a foul mood because of persistent pain behind my right eye, and have been for quite a while. What more is there to say? I tried to stay healthy, but nothing lasts forever. I am annoyed because I am not yet done using this body. All those decades of exercise were for naught at the end of this life. If I had known how dilapidated I would be now, I might have just rolled over and snuggled down into the covers then. Foul mood. Caption: I Am In A Foul Mood Because of Pain Behind My Right Eye. by Annmarie Throckmorton 2019 Caption: Annmarie Throckmorton swimming at age 58 in 2006

Unanswered Email

Irene, It has been far too long since I have talked to you. Recently I happened upon this photograph of you and me, and I remembered how we lingered in the relative safety of that restaurant, giggling in the changing air pressure, and talking of other things until the sky outside was no longer green with potential for tornados. Tornado weather is strangely and simultaneously scary and exhilarating. Looking at your face again after all this time, I thought of the kindness that you showed me so consistently, and of the fun that we had. Thank you again for your extensive gratis edit of my book, Aftermath of a Suicide, each and every one of the 365 pages of which was reviewed by you with profe

Comparative Religion Gave Me The Treasure Of Meditation

I have studied all of the major world religions and quite a few of the minor ones as well. My study of Buddhism gave me an understanding of how to harness my mind, to quiet it, to order it, to control it for the thoughts and actions that I deem best. The first time that I went into my mind I was shocked at the disorder of my cascading thoughts. I immediately took all of the training in Tibetan Buddhist meditation techniques that I could find. I augmented that training with many meditation lessons from some top-notch Chinese martial artists at Ohio State University. (Yes, they also teach meditation.) Along the path of my life-long study of comparative religion many other religions contr

"Who Are Al-Anon Members?"

"Al-Anon members are people, just like you, who are worried about someone with a drinking problem." See: https://al-anon.org/ Al-Anon is a very different sort of organization from Alcoholics Anonymous: "Alcoholics Anonymous is an international mutual aid fellowship whose stated purpose is to "enable its members to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety." It was founded in 1935 by Bill Wilson and Bob Smith in Akron, Ohio. With other early members, Wilson and Smith developed AA's Twelve Step program of spiritual and character devel..." Wikipedia.com I have gone to only one Al-Anon meeting in my life, and this is why. Throughout my life it seemed that every member of my imme

Did Not Like Me Or Just Drumming Up Business?

My first visit this week with a new optometrist at Gailey Eye Clinic was surprisingly unpleasant. I had been looking forward to new glasses for the past several months but my Humana-Medicare/EyeMed (social security senior benefits through Medicare) allowance of $375 dollars toward frames, lenses, and lens options was not in effect until the new calendar year of 2019. Before I went in for my appointment, I called both Humana-Medicare/EyeMed and Gailey Eye Clinic to double-double check that they had my benefits on record because in previous years Gailey Eye Clinic complained that they could not find my insurance benefits in their "system", and I wanted to sort out any confusion before I was

My Brother Peter Used To Run In And Kick Me

My younger brother Peter used to run in and kick me, then when he grew up he gave one massive, final kick to me and ran away to Sweden. In a roundabout way this is what happened. I did not have my first period until I was fourteen, I was probably too skinny and too stressed for biology to begin its miracle of turning girl to woman. Mother had always been stingy with food towards me, "Drink water." she would snarl at me when I said that I was hungry after school. It was hard to wait for hours while my parents relaxed with their evening cocktails. They were in no hurry for dinner as they had had their main meal of the day in their workplace cafeterias, and I knew that their office desk dra

Greeted With A Shotgun

In other years long ago, I applied for a technical writing job at a cotton gin facility located somewhere out in the desert surrounding Phoenix, Arizona. I really wanted to work at the cotton gin because I like being in the beauty of the desert and I wholeheartedly support the product cotton. Cotton is comfortable to wear, looks nice, and it is a renewable resource. It is a great product. My application for employment did not take long. I pulled up in my truck, got out, and took a couple of steps toward the office. But I was stopped in my tracks by a slim, silent, young man who emerged from the shadows in front of the office, swung a shotgun up from his side and crossed it over his ches


Before applications for employment were all done on the internet, I took my Master's level resume and a sample packet of my industrial technical writing documentation and drove to the General Motors located in Bloomington, Illinois to make an application for employment. The guard at the guard shack would not admit me onto the GE complex so that I could submit my application to Human Resources, then known as the Personnel Department. He would not tell me where I could mail my application. When I insisted that fat, surly, oldish man take my resume packet, he took it with a sneer, swiveled in his chair, and tossed it in a wastebasket. Deep-Sixed. He was confident enough of the prevailing a

The Burgundy Bathroom Walls Of Feminism

Feminism* began for me in the 1970s. I was just beginning to assemble what was then known as my "dress for success" work wardrobe and I noticed that a lot of the more established women were wearing the color burgundy, burgundy suits or perhaps a neutral color dress with burgundy accessories such as belt, purse, and heels. I began to budget for burgundy. However, shortly thereafter, I noticed that many bathroom walls, in government, education, and even some businesses, had been freshly painted an overwhelming shade of deep burgundy. This was very bold and in your face because in my experience before and subsequently, bathroom walls are usually white. This coup by the custodial staff force

Cheeseburger Was Put Out To Pasture

One spring a local farmer put a solitary beef-cow out to pasture in a field along the route that I drove every day. At first I thought how sad it looked, young and alone in the large, tree-less field, but then it noticed a small shed, and it took to standing inside of the shed to enjoy the shade. It hung its large head out of the small window of the shed to watch the world. I thought, ah, well, good for the cow. As time went on, the cow began to look relaxed, perhaps even happy. Soon I was certain, it was happy. The cow saw the smiles of all the drivers who noticed it with its head comically sticking out of the shed window, and it had been reassured that all was well. I named it Chees

Censorship On Youtube Rankles

SerpentZA published Jack of all Trades, China has None!* on Youtube.com, so I made an observation as to why that might be the case, based on China's history and demographics. My comment was promptly removed. Why, and by whom? By SerpentZA, or by China, or are they one and the same? Just curious, I suppose, but any censorship rankles. The truth wants to be read. Caption: YouTube.com comment by Annmarie Throckmorton as AdroitWaterBear 2019 Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RVtquxi1zw

On The Other Hand From Mother, A House

When my mother finally realized that it was in her best interests to treat me well, which was soon after she was diagnosed with dementia in her early eighties, she found a house near to her home, bought it outright, and put the new house title in my name. She effectively tied me to her because she realized that she would need my daily care in order to stay comfortably in her own home, instead of being institutionalized, as her decline was horribly rapid. I accepted that obligation because of the house, and out of filial love and duty. This is a Goggle Earth Pro aerial view of the location of the house that mother bought me. Both of my parents passed in recent years, so soon I will sell th

Loveless Locket From Mother

When I was a young adult I wanted very much to have a normal, loving family, moving forward in life seemed to depend upon it. Toward that end I demanded that my mother behave as a mother to me, that she be loving and kind and pleased with me. She sneered at most of my protestations against her unkindnesses and she effortlessly ignored my demands that she change her behavior, so I was surprised when she agreed to give me a piece of jewelry that I could cherish as "given to me by my mother." She had never given me any sort of jewelry before, not so much as a ribbon or hair clasp, not even a plastic pop bead. So now when she told me that she would buy me a locket: which is of course "a sma

Once A Cheat Always A Cheat

Sooo, here is the villain who ignored my vociferous objections to his legal department, and allowed some unknown book vendor to sell my book, Aftermath of a Suicide, through Amazon online for over a decade, without my permission and without paying a nickel of royalties to me. Now his family's heart and purse are breaking in divorce. Hummm. Difficult to feel sorry for the richest man in the world when he robbed poor, little me. He cheated on his wife, he cheated me, and how many countless others in the world? A leopard does not change his spots. Caption: Amazon Founder and CEO Jeff Bezos announces divorce. Youtube screen capture, 2019


Trumpian means: to work with steadfast allegiance and love for the people of one's country, despite unfair, cruel lies broadcast to turn those very same people against one, and yet to triumph. It does not mean: "Trumpian refers to the bombast, egotism, and lies, or anti-establishment, authoritarian, bigoted ideologies that some associate with the language, conduct, and viewpoints of President Donald Trump." Reference: www.dictionary.com/e/slang/trumpian/ This makes one wonder who owns and operates Dictionary.com, that they would so denigrate a sitting president of the United States of America? A true dictionary is impartial · unbiased · unprejudiced · neutral · nonpartisan · nondiscriminat

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