Beaten But Not Defeated

When my mother demanded that I provide the in-home care that my father and mother needed to stay in their own home for the last six years of life, I agreed. I honored my parents in that way, as their daily caregiver with power of attorney for them.

The Bible's commandment to “honor your father and your mother” appears in Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Matthew 15:4; and Ephesians 6:2, 3. I have always believed that this is a good and sound directive. I forgave her as is also right, but it is impossible to forget the beatings, abuse, and trickery that she inflicted upon me throughout my life. She enjoyed teaching others to abuse me. When I looked at her I always felt gut-wrenching fear, but I also felt some tenderness, more like pity to be so hateful toward a good and reasonable daughter.

So I honored my parents, even though her diagnosis of dementia and certification as "a danger to herself and others", and father's stroke then the loss of his leg, made them very, very difficult to care for. During their lives I said nothing against them. I brought them safely and often happily through their lives. I have been beaten but I was not defeated. And my life today is good. I honor both of my parents with loving memories, but I protect myself.

Beaten But Not Defeated

animation and still image by Annmarie Throckmorton 2021

mental certification of Phyllis Throckmorton

as unable to care for herself and as a danger to herself and others

Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services-Peoria, 01-31-13

Illinois Center for Senior Behavioral Health Discharge Plan

for my mother Phyllis Throckmorton 02-11-13