Pain

Annmarie Throckmorton, M.A.

4 hours ago

3 min read

I saw the doctor today, a specialist in pain management, and took him these notes on my current pain status.

NOTES

I have had no, zip, zero, nada adverse side effects from my most recent pain medication. On the other hand, I had no pain relief from it either, none, zip, zero, nada.
It does seem to be a mood enhancer, or perhaps I am just relieved and grateful to have a doctor working to help me ameliorate my debilitating pains. Anyway, I am happy to say that I had the delightful experience one morning this week of going through 3 or 4 simple household tasks in a row, so either I overcame the pain, I was unaware of the pain because I was busy (sitting on floor which is easiest on my pain), or the pain medication had some momentary beneficial effect. But the rest of the four weeks that I have been on this pain medication I have been unaware of even the smallest decrease in pain.
Sharp pains in my thumbs and hands sometimes hurt so much that I can barely hold things. I have to force myself to do work that must be done. My left hand is sometimes so weak that I do not trust it to hold any object, such as a glass of ice tea. This dismays me and I bought plastic glasses because I kept dropping/breaking the glass ones. Cleaning up whatever I spilled is irksome and sometimes makes me clean up, give up, and go back to bed.
The crushing pain in my lower back is relentless, and discourages me from walking. This week I tried forcing myself to walk with walking sticks which support my back better than a cane, but I only walked one time, for about 60 feet around the driveway. I have always had good will power, but now I can only force myself out of bed if there are life tasks which must be done. I do not even want to sit up at the computer because it puts weight on my lower back and hips—which hurts. I lay supine with my tablet and the days slide by. I have only have a few more years, or at best a couple more decades, and I do not want to waste my last time like this.
Bathing, turning over, swinging my leg out of a chair, etc. all hurt the back of my right thigh—this is a fifty-year old (50+) skating injury (unexpected splits) that had not troubled me until now. It has flared up with a sharp pain that is constant. I thought this was healed long ago. Also, forty years ago I broke my right foot, an injury which healed quickly, but suddenly decades later my right foot sometimes gives me sharp pain and seems unsteady when I step on it.
My shoulders ache a lot but because of the aching saddle of pain in my lower back and hips I am usually not aware of my shoulder pain; however, when I do laundry I have to pause while loading/unloading my clothes from the machines to let the aching in my shoulders subside. My shoulders hurt so much that it brings tears to my eyes. I used to do two loads of laundry at a time, now I can only do one load of laundry at a time. What's next?