My Independence Is Guaranteed

I am thinking this morning about the young Iraqi man, twenty-six years old, that an in-home caregiver placement agency wants to work in the home of my friend and next door neighbor; and I am upset and frightened about it.  I told my neighbor that if she decides to refuse him entry into her home she can share this text with anyone who can prevent him from coming to her apartment door, which is just ten steps across the breezeway from my apartment door.  She and I are not therapists to help him recover from whatever trauma he has, or his family has, from the Iraq/America war which ended in 2011 but still, injuries and memories persist; and this young man's current, difficult immigrant status may make him more difficult to have in my neighbor's home.  We are old, defenseless women who need help ourselves.  For the placement agency to expect her to accept a young male helper into her home to launder her underwear, etc. is beyond absurd, it is disgusting.  This is my honest, careful opinion.  The whole situation frightens me.  I am frightened for both her and me.  There are male elders who are much better matches for this young male helper.  Best wishes to her in this difficult situation, which also affects my own safety.  I have had bad experiences with male helpers in my own home, (one young male interviewer who had administered a medical survey to me then wanted to rub my feet.  He seemed crazed and smelled terrible.  I made him leave my home immediately.)  So I now accept only female helpers, as is my right.  I am a free and independent woman.

My Independence Is Guaranteed

collage by Annmarie Throckmorton, copyright 2026