Haunted By Spooks

Spook is a slang term for a skilled, highly trained, covert operative who does intelligence gathering and analysis, for one of American's eighteen intelligence agencies, the most well known of which are the FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation) and the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency), working nationally or internationally respectively.

The first man who ever asked me to marry him, and the last man with whom I laid, both claimed to be spooks. Both were believable. Of course, I have no way of knowing why professionally sneaky men might target me for marriage or assignations, but I was not thrilled with either of their revelations. I love my country, but no spy's lies for me, thank you very much.

Both of these men have passed now but they left wives and children so I would not name them.

When I was twenty the first spook, to whom I was engaged, took me to meet his parents. But we suddenly stopped off at the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia along the way. The first I knew of this diversion was when he turned off the highway at the CIA exit, which of course startled me. He quickly, quietly explained that he had a job interview at the CIA, because he wanted to work against illegal drugs to stop the misery that they caused. I was to wait quietly in the foyer. Which I did unhappily. I had not imagined that there would be such significant secrecy in our marriage. After a couple of hours my fiancé returned to me, he seemed worried as he explained that the CIA interviewer had disapproved of him bringing his fiancé to his interview. Then he took me to introduce me to his parents who also did not seem happy with his career choice. This was a primary reason that, although he was kind and thoughtful, we did not marry.

When I was in my late sixties a second spook stalked me at work, claiming to be the son of a federal operative, and further he claimed, with smug, superior innuendos and overwhelming emotion, that his primary job was just a cover for his more remunerative occupation which was that of an agent for the FBI. When I understood how violent and mean he was, I did not stick around long enough to hear his whole story.

CIA emblem in its headquarters foyer, Langley, Virginia

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I sat waiting on a bench next to this emblem. I remember thinking how impressive the CIA seal is.

Annmarie Throckmorton, a proud American

"The large granite seal – which measures 16 feet in diameter – has been the symbol of the CIA since Feb. 17, 1950. This emblem is comprised of the eagle, the shield and the16-point compass star. The eagle is our national bird and stands for strength and alertness."