Camera Off

Half a year ago I emailed this to all members of the daily zoom meditation group with whom I have sat virtually in meditation for over a year; because zooming is something that I have difficulty with.  I asked for the sangha's thoughts on the matter and I thanked them in advance for their consideration of my request, with deep bows and respect.  I did receive a few replies which were essentially well-wishing rather than analytical or problem-solving.  Still I am grateful.

Why Do People Turn Off Their Device Cameras In Virtual Meetings?

When a virtual meeting zooms into my home, I have a right to limit how deeply into my life the other virtual meeting participants can come.  A virtual two feet from my face is sometimes too close and personal for me.

To reduce camera fatigue from constantly seeing my own on-camera appearance, I turn off the device camera that projects my face.  Also, other people who zoom in often appear too close to me for comfort; and it is a strain to pick up on non-verbal cues from faces that are "kissing close."  I do not want to be that close to most people.  And certainly not all of the time during a meeting.

It is not easy to look continuously engaged, and I do not want to be rude by visually drifting off during the zoom meeting.  Further more, on-stop interpersonal engagement requires some degree of interpersonal lying, at least when I try to do it, and I do not want to lie.

I sometimes turn off my device's camera to take the pressure off the requirement for a well-groomed appearance in a public zoom.  Maintaining a suitable personal appearance is sometimes hard for a busy, tired, sick, old and/or handicapped person like me.  And keeping a tidy background, or worrying over pets and other people coming into the camera view also can be challenging.

Turning off a device camera allows zoom group participation at a lower level of involvement.  Virtual meeting participation can require a huge amount of energy, but not all meetings require this level of input from every person attending the virtual meeting.  Sometimes you want to be with the group just to give and receive support but you do not want to be a visual center of attention, so you turn off your device camera.

Concern about remote viewers is not a incidental issue.  Just as you would not linger where there may be strangers in dark corners, I worry about being remotely viewed by unidentified people, with unknown intentions, who are off-camera in the zoom meeting.  It is a safety issue for me.  When I am also off-camera, then I feel safer.

That being said, virtual meetings are a godsend because they give us access to and from anywhere in the world, to be among people we value and enjoy, to the best of our abilities.  It also opens our homes and displays our faces to an uncertain world.

So I turned off the camera on my device.

Sperm Whale Eye

screen captured online from unknown source, non-commercial use, 2024