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  • Annmarie Throckmorton, M.A.

Plucked Every Sunday

Someone witty said old people do not really loss their hair, it just grows out of their ears and noses. Hardy har har har, but not so funny when you yourself suddenly have coarse hairs tickling the inside of your nose in inaccessible places, then sprouting out of your nostrils to horrify sensitive young people, who still think they are immortal and suspect that your signs of aging are due to personal failure on your part; failures they are certain they will avoid, so go away with your old, hairy-nosed self.

Every Sunday I turn on my 3x magnifying mirror, steady my nerves, and confront reality face to face. It seems that nature intended mature women to have elegant little goatees. Well, over the past several decades my light brown version has been waxed, plucked, depilated, and otherwise made bald with ruthless diligence. If someone develops genetic modification to omit hirsutism from the female maturation process, count me in.

Caption: The Black Hole Of Depilation

by Annmarie Throckmorton 2018

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