The only thing pleasant about this exercise in emotional management is the abstract that I created to illustrate it. Almost ten years later the causes of my anger have not changed, but rather I have had to change to manage my feelings about being frozen angry.
Acknowledgment of what makes me angry in 2010.
Having to stop in the middle of my day to unload my back pain, whole body pain really—now I give up and nap several times a day to rest both body and mind.
Having to work harder in my mind to compensate for being slower—now I work harder mentally and physically to compensate for my slowness.
Not having healthcare for my heart and lung problems, which could end my life—I have healthcare now but it is useless.
My face and body are obviously aged—even more so now. I should be grateful it is not worse.
Being physically out-of-shape—dilapidated is a more apt description in 2019.
This world is unfit for to bring children into, so I have none to love & be loved by—always.
Not having found a man to love & be loved by—always.
The world does not seem to want my art or my writings—anger but causes sadness too.
I am not as smart, strong, and loving as I want to be—anger but causes sadness too.
People who abuse substances do not pull their fair share of the world’s burdens—continues to cause me massive anger because I feel overburdened and unhelped.
God does not treat me as well as I treat my pet cat. I am most angry about this, because it appears that the world is structured for pain and suffering of everyone—there is nothing more to be said ten years later, except a prayer of gratitude that I can still try.
Caption: Frozen Angry
by Annmarie Throckmorton 2019