I know from personal experience that, even worse than physical torture is the feeling that:
I did not, could not do what needed to be done to protect my loved ones from harm. But how does one protect the world when one is not a god?
This feeling of failure to protect brought me to prolonged tears yesterday, as I listened to English professional conspiracy theorist and philosopher David Icke vlog on about how plants are conscious, how plants have feelings of fear and sadness, how plants live in families. Well then, what will vegans eat? And will not the tenderhearted Jains* of India find it difficult to pull rice away from its family? I too love plants, I always have. And thinking about their plight reminded me of other failings of mine. So I cried.
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* "Along with Hinduism and Buddhism, Jainism is one of the three most ancient Indian religious traditions still in existence an... Indian religion teaching a path to spiritual purity and enlightenment through disciplined nonviolence (ahimsa, literally “noninjury”) to all living creatures."
Caption: The Worst Feeling In The World Is When You Cannot Protect Your Loved Ones
by Annmarie Throckmorton 2019