Trying Not To Curse
The irony is that just as one reaches the pinnacle of self-development, and is replete with hard-honed skills, finely tuned insights, and solid abilities, then one’s filters become unhinged and one loses the ability to fully implement them.
Case in point: on all too frequent occasions when I am annoyed, I can feel curse words forming in my mind, a problem I did not have for over half a century because I am considerate of others and I am able to express myself in many other ways, so of course I censored the curse words, I implemented my filters. Funny thing happens now, the swear words burst out with increased vigor as if in defiance of my weak, old filters. I have tried repeatedly to curb this repugnant behavior, without success. There is an evil imp on my shoulder that says, “They deserve to be cursed.” Nonsense! There is another nasty imp that says, “Give in, everyone else curses.” Not true! There is a lazy imp that says, “You are old and cursing is an appropriate response to your circumstance.” What lunacy!
All of her life my mother swore with impunity. I chose not to do so. Her use of gutter language, "$h!t" and more personalized swearing, detracted from her authority to speak persuasively. That style of speech is imprecise. Further, using excrement explicatives and such, instead of descriptive words, defeats one’s purpose to communicate with a wide range of people because it turns off quite a few.
I do not want to be that old lady that curses. Not me, not in my nice old life.
by Annmarie Throckmorton 2018