Jealousy

Rarely in life have I been jealous, the ugly, unpleasant emotion does not arise in me without extreme provocation, but I am now aware that I am deeply jealous of the comfortable position of the defendants against my late father’s loss of leg due to nursing home neglect lawsuit. In general I am envious that the defendants hide behind their wealth without bothering to make a court appearance, and in particular I am jealous of their hired counsel who not only have other lawyers to fill in for them in court hearings as happened earlier this month, these lawyers have clerks and other office staff to maintain their records and research the law for them. They probably have personal finances sufficient to not be distracted by the pinches of poverty, and they probably have spouses to maintain their support system of family and friends. I have none of that. When the bills are due I alone must pay them with time, energy, and money. I must be my own best friend. If I so much as want a cup of tea I must make it myself. At least I do not envy them, I do not wish to take those good things from them. I only wish I also had it for myself.

Jealousy is different from envy:

Jealousy: feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages...feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc. …characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment...”

Envy: “a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, ...”

Source: Dictionary.com

Caption: Button Up Those Feelings Of Jealousy and Envy

by Annmarie Throckmorton 2018