When I was in my early twenties I had a spontaneous epiphany* in which I realized that our culture, perhaps the entire world, lacks full compassion for men; and that I in particular lacked full compassion** for men. Men must stand at a moment’s notice and sacrifice themselves to protect women and children; and women and children are expected and trained to honor men’s noble sacrifice by feeling grateful before regretful. This derails thoughts of how to relieve humanity of the threats and violence that require men’s sacrifice. For example, when one thinks of men dying in war there is a sense of accordance that one does not feel at the thought of women and children dying in war. In gross terms, for men to die in war is expected, for women and children to die in war is lamented.
I immediately began training my mind to correctly feel the deepest sorrow at the thought of men going to war, or risking death in any of the countless other ways as they do in order to be a Man. I consciously replaced my unwanted, inadequate feelings of pride, righteousness, and demand upon men with correct feelings of sorrow at the cruel expectations upon them. I was disconcerted to discover how many, many times I had to exercise my mind to bring it to correct compassion for men. I now weep when I think of war and violence against men, women, and children, equally. I have compassion for Men.
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* “a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.”
** “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”
Caption: I Trained Myself To Have Compassion For Men
by Annmarie Throckmorton 2018