Under The Mulberry Tree

One day when I was fourteen, I suddenly came to full awareness of my mind and of the choices that I was making for myself in my life.  I was sitting crying under a mulberry tree because I had nowhere else to go, no one to whom I could cry.  My mother had been haranguing me, as usual, over nothing, just venting her spleen over me.  I could not remember why I had fled from her this time.  I did not know why she habitually made such long and critical attacks on me, verbally and even physically, over and over again.  It was never clear what I had done wrong or what I might do to correct whatever the problems were.  I realized that I could not clearly remember the first fourteen years of my life, most of it was blotted out and folded under in a fog of confusion, fear, and anxiety.  I knew that I could not bear to continue living in that way.  There was no point to a life unremembered.  I considered ending it.  What is very important to me about that day is that at that moment, sitting under a ripe and fragrant mulberry tree, I chose to take control of my life.  I chose to see what was happening around me, to remember, to think, and to take action in my own life.  I chose self-determination at that moment.  I woke up under the mulberry tree, and I have loved mulberries ever since for being a sweet remembrance in my life.

Caption:  I Woke Up Under The Mulberry Tree

by Annmarie Throckmorton 2018



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