My Blog flotsam and jetsam has forced a paradigm shift on me, a fundamental change in how I view myself, in my underlying assumptions about who I am. My intention with my website inthetide.com was to place my lifework online, as a record of how one person lived in the twentieth century. I thought that my life was a fairly good example because I noticed that the things that I did and that happened to me also were being done by and happening to people around me. I write, I create art, I want to display my work, so voilà, here it is.
However, my Blog flotsam and jetsam, in particular my posts thereto of Broken Branches, Broken Life Chances, have forced me to shift how I view myself, from a competent, contributing human to include that I am an obvious victim of a plethora of assaults and discriminations. (I dread telling the extent of it.)
This sad thought occurred to me recently, and after considerable consideration of my personal paradigm shift, it still leaves me uncomfortable, and embarrassed. My new extended definition of self is shocking to me. I will be leaving life soon, whether in two decades or two minutes, I am of the age where the end is definitely nigh. I am soon to be a septuagenarian. The end will come when it will come. There is nothing that I can do about that, and nothing that I can do about the past events in my life. It is what it is, as they say.
Caption: The Thought Occurred To Me
hippocampus abstract by Annmarie Throckmorton 2018