Fugly Sisters

When I came back from Peace Corps service in 1980 from Africa (into five operations following in-service injury), my sister not only refused to help me, she wrote me a very brief letter telling me that I had always made her feel “fat”, “ugly”, and “stupid”.  The other line of her letter instructed me to “leave (her) and (her) family alone”, don’t visit, don’t call, don’t write.  I had always known that she did not like me, but she seemed to not like almost everyone so I did not feel unique in that regard.  On the other hand, if I had treated her poorly I wanted to correct that, so I thought it through.  Did I consider her fat?  Well, yes.  She did weight well over 300 pounds and at only 5”4” tall she was actually morbidly obese, but that had never been my concern.  I did not recall ever having had a conversation with her about her weight, in fact, knowing that her husband had a fat woman fetish (from photos he collected) I would not have interfered.  Did I consider her ugly?  Well, no.  In fact, I had always thought that she and I looked very similar, and others immediately knew that we were sisters, sooo...if she was ugly then I was ugly, we would be fugly* sisters.  No, I did not consider her ugly, and I was dismayed when Carla’s husband Robert remarked to her, “I’ve always considered Annmarie to be a refined version of you.”.  Did I consider her stupid?  Well, no.  Her intellect when we were young adults matched mine as far as I knew.  For example, when we studied Latin together at university for a year, she said that she also got all A’s. She did not talk much so it was hard to tell, but no, I did not consider her stupid.  Drug-addled yes, stupid no.  But there is no accounting for feelings, and her feelings were to blame me for her feeling fat, ugly, and stupid.  My fugly-feeling sister threw me, a perfectly good sister, out of her life which was a fat-headed, ugly, stupid thing to do.  I have waited forty years to say it.

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Fugly synonyms: unattractive · ill-favored · hideous · plain · plain-featured · plain-looking · unlovely · unprepossessing · unsightly · displeasing · disagreeable · horrible · frightful · awful · ghastly · gruesome · grisly · unpleasant · foul · nasty · grim · vile · shocking · disgusting · revolting · repellent · repugnant · grotesque · monstrous · reptilian · misshapen · deformed · disfigured · homely · not much to look at · short on looks · as plain as a pikestaff · as ugly as sin

Caption:  Fugly Sisters

by Annmarie Throckmorton 2018

Caption:  Carla (left) and Annmarie (right) Throckmorton

see Santa Clause in St Paul Minnesota 1954

Caption:  Carla (left) and Annmarie (right) Throckmorton

up at the lake in northern Minnesota 1956

Caption:  Carla (left) and Annmarie (right) Throckmorton

in Enger Tower, Duluth, Minnesota 1977


I was just thinking that we made a pretty picture,

like the Brothers Grimm's fairy tale "Rapunzel" in duplicate,

when I felt Carla's hand creep up and give me horns.

If I had know how she truly felt about me I would not have done the same to her.




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