Fat Enough To Hibernate

A trick of the camera, or am I really this fat? It is hard to say, it depends upon your perspective. For scientific analysis of viruses that may cause full-moon bellies, and for Bollywood-style (Hindi cinema ) illustrations, see video on Professor Nikhil Dhurandhar’s studies:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzrEobx70n8

“Nikhil V. Dhurandhar is a university professor who has published details about the proposed adipogenic effect of the human adenovirus AD-36 on laboratory animals and also its association with human obesity...” Wikipedia.com

Fat Enough To Hibernate

poem by Annmarie Throckmorton, 2006

I think that I am fat because,

I am getting ready for a cozy hibernation,

From life’s cares, woes, and miseries,

Rage, tears, and tribulations.

I am seeking a snooze, a liberation.

Others speculate, and ponder,

wonder this way and the other.

They think maybe culture has changed,

Or the food is bad,

And they know that dieting is just a drag.

Like me, many a Man, Woman, Child, and even Pets,

Are forced to struggle daily to avoid the poundage.

If one can believe old oil paintings,

Fat ladies were the rage,

A hundred years ago, men liked their women fat,

Their affluence thereby to gauge.

Not for them the anorexic, the lean or skinny,

Even slender, slim, and thin had no cache.

Well-fed men and women then were proud,

Proof they had money for food to pay.

Those who love me say:

Oh, just big, big-boned, more-to-love, well, truthfully a little heavy.

Manufactures have their labels for me:

XXL (eXtra, eXtra Large) or WL (not Wide Ladies!, but rather Women’s Large).

A sophisticate once eyed me head to toe,

And sighed “zaftig”.

I did not know how he meant it.

Did he like me, yea or nay?

I prefer mesomorph: solid muscle structure, very strong, well-formed, cushioned nicely with fat.

There is a new scientific explanation,

For why I got so fat.

My problem is viral.

Invasion by demi-microbes has plumped me up.

Apparently the vile little bugs have learned,

To chemically commandeer body and brain,

To keep me in control,

Demanding fat for food,

Making me a sort of human larder.

My own guess is that I have simply,

Happily, and to my detriment,

Eaten too many trans-fatty acids in industrially processed foods,

Consumed too much unsaturated fat at restaurants,

Gulped mono-unsaturated, poly-unsaturated,

partially-hydrogenated plant oils and animal fats to excess.

Silly body mine, and now it wants to hibernate.

Caption: Fat Enough To Hibernate, by Annmarie Throckmorton 2006.

The truth is often gross, hopefully it is a little funny too.